Letters to Anya: Here it comes, the princess phase


Dear heart of mine, I tried to never use the word ‘princess’ to refer to the Disney characters in front of you since you were young, and proudly used to tell anyone that asked you what princess you liked that you had no idea about them. But then slowly, a little less than a year ago, I started noticing a change in you. It started with your love for tutu skirts, and wanting to only wear dresses with flouncy skirts. Then one time in the car going somewhere, you quietly asked me, ‘We don’t like princesses, right?’. It broke my heart as I asked you if you liked them and you slowly said yes. I felt bad that even though I had never said it explicitly, my indirect ways had given you the message that you can’t like princesses! My baby girl, I would never want to force my opinions on you and despite my struggles with this whole princess thing, I am slowly learning to accept it as a phase and letting you enjoy it. These days many of our mornings start with you wanting to have your hair like Elsa, look like her and talk like her, or being a beautiful fairy princess ; but then turns into a day of spaceship journeys, lots of reading ‘Elephant and Piggie’ books, watching Bubble Guppies and Word World and making artwork over artwork. I never thought I would say this, I don’t mind at all for right now!

I just want you to know that the world is your oasis and that you can be anything, you can do anything. I just want you to know that there are amazing strengths in you, that your inside is so beautiful that your outside could never ever even match that! I just hope you grow up knowing you’re beautiful just the way you are and you don’t need to look like any standard of beauty that culture forces upon you, to feel good enough. I try to explain to you sometimes when you ask me if you look beautiful, that what makes a person really that, is the beauty of their hearts. I tell you what a beautiful, kind, heart you have and that I love that best about you, and as you smile that bright little smile of yours, I know we will get through this. We will get through this princess phase and all the other phases that will follow as long as you know that the beauty of your heart is so much more important than the beauty of your outside.

Love, Your Mama.


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